Phillip Gold (bono_zen) wrote,
Phillip Gold

The Questions, they keep coming

What do people get wrong about you?

Hmmm I suppose it depends on who you are asking? I tend to think often people have me being a moody guy or a sarcastic prick all the time. I'm those things only once in a great while. I'd like to think I'm actually most of the time a polite, quiet listener. I'm not very in your face about things. I like to listen and observe and then take that and use it in my life, whatever aspect of life that is.

Do you think you are sexy enough?

By what standards I guess would be more appropriate to ask?! I don't think about that sort of thing. When I look in the mirror I think I look like the same skinny, pimply guy with bad bed hair from high school, only a bit older.


Technically yes I was diagnosed with a mild case when I was 13 in runs in my family, my sister as well and I believe my dad said he some issues as a kid with it. I'm not so much anymore or at least I'm not so bothersome with it. I don't have an addictive personality to things like sex and drugs. I think I'm only obsessed with music and general knowledge these days. I compulsively exercise daily though. I guess my OCD isn't gone it's just channeled into more constructive rather than worrying things.

How do you feel if stuff isn't vacuumed?

I'm hardly bothered by that sort of thing. I'm a twenty something bachelor guy who lives in a bachelor pad with the drummer in my band. We're both in the same position and pretty lazy. We only tidy really when a lady comes over as the ladies men in the band I suppose we have to put on some kind of charming presentable front.

It used to be vitally important to you to be sexy and reckless, and probably now you're less interested in either?

Hah what a question. I never considered it vitally important either of those things. I think me being sexy is important to whatever girl I'm dating or whatever girl hits on me in a bar. For being reckless I never cared whether I was viewed as that or not. Everybody has a reckless side to them even nice polite guys like me. The point is nobody is completely nice all the time and nobody is a bad ass all the time, everyone and I mean everyone is some sort of happy or unhappy medium. Everyone who thinks otherwise is in denial of reality.

Tell me some things that are true.

That truth is subjective!

Is being passionate a good thing?

That obviously depends on what we're being passionate about. I don't think I need to elaborate on that just like the previous truth question.

So what happened to you in your teenage years?

Nothing special really, the usual boredom, alienation and anger that builds up in you as your idealism and carefree attitude gives way to adulthood. I mean I had circumstances in my life which I know of no other people personally experiencing. I had more death in my family in a short span than some people. I also lost my sense of taste and smell to a soccer related bump on the head. I also have and dealt with and still do a very bad stomach condition. However none of these I felt made me special. I never saw them as badges of honor, I also like everyone else had acne, thought break ups would be the end of the world and worried to not get bad grades or crash my car. All those things have pissed me off and just driven me to be more conscious of of the frailty and neutrality of life. If anything it's spurned me on to live a little more and that's about it. I've always been creative long before I had any teenage growing pains, but I also used all that pent rage as a well to tap for creativity. However at the end of the day I'm still fortunate in that I came from a loving, independent minded and supportive middle class family. I've been able to travel alot, meet cool people and I've also been raised with an open mind and somewhat privileged life and that's not so bad compared to people who've had a much harder or shitty time than me.

You were better then than you are now?

Not in the least. I'm much better today than I was then. I still find it odd that I encounter so many of my peers who think high school and childhood were the best times of their life. They think because they are fat, bald or not where they pictured they'd be in their mid-twenties they think life might as well be over. I think they are childish in some sense. I mean I'm not fat, bald or anything like that I've physically changed little so I can't relate to that. However when they say "I'm just not getting what I want out of life?" "I just thought I wanted remember Phil way back in high school how much fun it was?" I have to shiver at that for many reasons, one I'm not nostalgic, I'm more about let's keep the past the past and learn from our mistakes. Secondly, I thought me being picked on in high school was the worst. In hindsight it wasn't the worst but in the moment it felt terrible. So my associations with high school are not all that fond. Though I did have alot of fun I should say. In your mid twenties in the middle of a recovering economy of course you're not bound to be where you thought. You have decades ahead of yourself if your strong enough. I think everyone is in that boat to a degree. If I could decide what I wanted to do with my college degree I suppose I'd know but I kinda want to be a musician and writer and that's it. So you have to look at the small victories in life and of course always have ambition and don't be deterred. Or you can learn to adapt to your current situation and make a positive.

Doing nothing and not enjoying life has its consequences too.

Only for the weak. When shit happens in my life I don't get unmotivated I have to get back to work as being idle for too long for me is a waste. For those who want that life be my guest. I'm too hungry for experience I guess, I want to travel, I want to read books, I want to learn more obscure trivia or learn a new instrument or language, I want to fuck a new woman everyday and I don't want to settle down and if/when I do I doubt I'll lose my hunger for experiencing life. I think the consequences of idleness for me would mean death at my own hand out of boredom and self hatred for not being true to that part of me that wants to explore life and won't settle for a life on a couch playing video games 24/7.

How do your loved ones long gone appear in your dreams?

In the dreams I can remember they appear usually pleasantly. Only occasionally I get horrified or weirded out.

What is your contribution to modern culture?

As a historian I can't say with any absolute certainty what it will be. I just hope my music and words, which are the core of my art and being will be enjoyed by some people, somewhere in the world at some point in time. I think I write utter crap some days but sometimes in fact most of the time I think I'm the greatest thing on two feet going today. Alot of that is bravado but until others start believing in it, self belief is all I have. However I have heard some comments lately that make me believe others are catching on to me after ten years of developing my skills and getting out there. So as cliche as it is...only time will tell.
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